CW: Discussion of problematic kinks/some strong language 💢
Note: this post is about the topic of infantilism within the furry fandom. If you don’t know what either of these things are, fully understanding the context of this post will take you days of research, and likely give you the wrong idea otherwise, so you should probably disregard it. Full post under the cut for potentially distressing content including plenty of swearing.
I’ve stayed quiet for a long time about what has been going on against the babyfur community these past two or three years and getting increasingly worse on Twitter in the past year in particular –until now.
This is mostly crossposted from my FA journal with some rewording and added content.
If you’re completely unaware (though if you’re a furry you certainly won’t be) it’s basically the false and very cruel, damaging implication that babyfurs are interested in harming children (possibly the furthest possible thing from the truth: many within the community are survivors of CSA, coping with terrible trauma via a kink that they developed as children, as a direct result of the trauma. This doesn’t invalidate those who have a non-trauma based interest in babyfur, but I digress.)
The core of the topic is that recently, there has been more misinformation, more attacks than usual, from people who very often also consider most taboo kinks to be a reflection of a person’s potential actions and desires in the real world: a ridiculous concept, and one that, if you are an emotionally mature member of the BDSM community with some sort of reasonable awareness of the nature of kink, likely has you rolling your eyes WAAY back into the deepest crevices of your skull. Got a r*pe fantasy, for example? Even if you’re a woman who enjoys this fantasy as empowerment of a sort, or a way to cope with trauma, you’ll still be told you’re glorifying r*pe culture.
These attacks toward people who engage in kink with other consenting adults may be ridiculous, but they are nonetheless causing real damage to real people, sometimes irreversible, often to people who deal with horrendous emotional baggage that they can barely handle, and then only thanks to their coping mechanism.
For me, ignoring the noise was easy at first: while I draw babyfur characters, and create artwork for onesie and ageplay companies, I’m not personally into diapers, even if plenty of my friends are; I don’t draw NSFW or dirty diaper content, and with a very few exceptions in the past, I do not draw ABDL stuff (that is, adults in diapers.)
So it was easier for me to fly under the radar, so to speak. Easy to pretend an entire community that embraced me, that bought me gifts, that paid for my art classes and my pets’ vet bills and even some of my own doctor appointments, that gave me unconditional friendship –yes, easy to pretend that attacks on friends I love, friends I fought and made up with, friends I helped, who were there for me– don’t really affect me. As long as crap isn’t flung MY way, I’m good, right?
Turns out, I felt pretty shitty as a result, even for the time I wasn’t directly targeted, which would eventually happen some months ago anyway.
Even when I was attacked for… my SFW spanking art I guess? Maybe the cartoon nudity in my reference sheets? I mean. Who the fuck knows? Apparently a cartoon butt as you’d see in a Disney movie is NSFW now. Lol. You can view my gallery and draw your own conclusions, but once again, I digress.
Even when I, too, was attacked, I made some attempt at self defense, but it felt kinda pointless. It felt like trying to defend myself if someone, in a similarly ludicrous stretch of reality, called me a murderer for having had to put my elderly, ailing rat down at the vet’s. That’s the sort of straw-grasping people have been doing when it comes to kinks.
Most recently, if your character is a baby or child, you’re a p*do as far as some circles are concerned: that’s enough, it’s all it takes. Everyone’s a p*do, which means no one is, which ACTUALLY means that the very important cause of outing real predators in the fandom (a serious, real problem, because we DO have predators in the furry fandom AND in the babyfur community as well) gets drowned out in a whole lot of hissy fits that children are having over fetish art. I don’t say “children” to be insulting (mostly) but rather, I mean these are actual literal minors in many cases that are drawing these conclusions and making these judgements. Then, when adults (rightly!) react angrily to their unfounded, damaging call-outs, they accuse them of interaction with minors! Almost schoolyard-level antics, a certain level of nerve that only immaturity allows.
Listen, kids: fetishes are problematic, almost all of them. Some of them disgust me, but they are fantasies. To get really, really blunt here (though this isn’t exactly a secret): I like being spanked, particularly in ways and settings that could be seen as glorifying domestic abuse. I’d never want to be ACTUALLY abused by my husband! Try hitting a child in front of me, and see how that well goes for you! Most people who like vore don’t ACTUALLY want to eat someone or be eaten. Many people enjoy r*pe fantasies even though ACTUAL r*pe would be their worst nightmare (and in some cases HAS been! If that’s how they cope, it’s absolutely not your place to judge.) They’re taboo fantasies and always have been and whatever happens between consenting adults in private spaces (offline or online) is NOT your business or your place to judge.
Adults (for the most part) have a pretty good grasp on differentiating fantasy from reality… it would seem we had a pretty big influx of young members recently who don’t as much (maybe after Zootopia? last few years. I don’t know.) And some of these younger members are assuming any kinks are an actual reflection of criminal intent or desires. It really doesn’t work that way.
I know this isn’t the case behind ALL the recent call-outs, but by a tremendous majority, it is an idealistic, oddly puritanical VERY YOUNG minority, for whom even big age gaps between 100% adults (such as with my parents) are considered p*dophilic or at the very least abusive. What the actual fuck?
I’ve come to the realization that I’m in too deep and there is no way for me to avoid being lumped similarly in. I mean, I already have been. If you look at my gallery and you’d call me a p*do, then I’m gonna tell you as nicely as possible to go fuck yourself. I’m always going to draw baby and kidfur characters because they’re adorable. I’m going to keep drawing spanking art because it helps me cope with trauma. And, my God. I couldn’t give a smaller fuck what you think.
Your opinion, your thoughts, your feelings on the matter, what you say about it, are all meaningless to me. You do not care how cruelly you hurt others in your neverending quest for clout and attention. You may not be bad people at the core, but you are behaving horrendously, and I have no desire, no need, to impress you or be respected or accepted by people who would behave like this.
See… it’s easier for me to ignore attacks toward the community at large, and even direct attacks to mere acquaintances. It can even be very mildly upsetting to be attacked directly (mostly when my friends get upset for my sake) but it pales in comparison to my own friends being attacked, cruelly, unfairly, by what are basically high-school bullies or people with a high-school bully mentality, grossly cloaked under a fake veil of pearl-clutching self-righteousness.
I want to speak up, for all my friends and my followers: you’re not p*dos just because someone says you are, even if they accumulate a bunch of RTs or likes. I know who you guys are, and I know you’d never touch a child. So maybe your childhood fucked up your brain a little bit, and now you have a so-called-cringy ass fetish/lifestyle to cope. That doesn’t make you a p*do. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It just makes you a human being. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
If you’ve been like me for a few years, afraid to speak up for your friends and your community, please consider doing so. Or your friends will feel alone, when perhaps you were all they had, and they can hear your silence when shit hits the fan. It’s really loud, that silence. And when they come for you (they seem to come for even the most innocent of artists) you won’t want to just hear accusations and… silence. Think of what you’d want when (rather than if) it happens to you.
In 10, 20 years, when you look back on the vile accusations being thrown at your littlefur friends, do you want to remember how you did nothing? Even if speaking up leads to fallout, wouldn’t you rather feel you spoke up against something so cruel and revolting, a word that in our society carries more weight than calling someone a murderer –over often completely SFW art to most reasonable people?
Me –I’m going to be loud, for the sake of my friends. I’m going to stand by them. I’m going to tell you that I love you guys. And my life is better thanks to being part of this community. I’m always going to be here.