Tired But Happy

Iโ€™m sorry Iโ€™m so late with new posts, especially fitness ones. The last three days have been a blur of housework and other stuff. Grandma and my mom in law are visiting now. We had a lovely evening and they are staying until Sunday morning.

Iโ€™m really happy especially for the time I had with my mom in law tonight. I felt like we were a little more close than usual. When that doesnโ€™t happen for a long time, I try to pretend it doesnโ€™t get to me. But the truth is it really does and my relationship with her is deeply important to me… so tonight, I am very happy. I hope she was proud of how nice the house looked, I did my best and I wanted Grandma to be pleased, but I think deep inside itโ€™s my mom in lawโ€™s approval I crave most of all. I really do love her very much. I think she knew I tried really hard.

It sounds stupid to write that… Iโ€™m not 10 years old. But cleaning this house is hard for me. A part of me wants to be respected as an adult and the other wants to be praised like a little girl. It can be hard to reconcile those two parts of me, but tonight, both parts of my heart feel happy.

I made Christopher another birthday brownie because (he says) I ate most of the first one:

Iโ€™m getting in bed now, with Rosie purring my by ear. Iโ€™ll catch up on posts as I can… hope everyone is doing well!

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