Feeling Kinda Broken Lately… ๐Ÿ’”

I think I just donโ€™t know how to talk to people in a normal way. I say too much or too little, almost all of the time. Especially the former. I am so awkward.

Iโ€™ve been told I am this way since childhood and I have been told I have to change. I have always tried, and sometimes I think I am getting better, but eventually I am reminded that Iโ€™m really, really not. Every day itโ€™s more obvious that Iโ€™m not neurotypical at all (and I never have been) but that knowledge doesnโ€™t help. I still have to carry this painful inability to be social in the same wavelength as others that is always there. Always putting my foot in my mouth or wondering if I did. Always wondering.

Iโ€™m so sorry for being this wayโ€ฆ Iโ€™m in a perpetual state of anxiety because of it. If I ever offend you, I probably didnโ€™t mean to. I just really wear my heart in my sleeve instead of showing it slowly. It can be really off putting. Iโ€™m so sorry for that, I really mean that.

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