CW: Calorie counting and/or weight tracking after the cut. Please do not proceed if you have an eating disorder and/or find posts of this sort triggering.
Ok, I’m back from my walk and here is the last post of the day. I managed to cheer myself up pretty well, although now that it’s gotten late and dark I feel a bit down again. Mostly because with the day being over, I can’t continue doing stuff. Or, I can but my energy is pretty darn spent.
Still, I’m gonna do the best I can after this post. Shower, get ready for bed, do a laundry load switch, put the dishes in the dishwasher, change the cats’ water, and then draw and play Dungeon Keeper until bedtime… or maybe draw and watch YouTube. Tomorrow I’ll take care of my paperwork and start work on the porch. Little by little I’ll get everything done and get out of my funk.
Anyway! I’m waffling, as the Brits say. This post is about two lovely packages I received recently, from two dear friends.
The first package to arrive was from my good friend Snow:
Based on some back-and-forth jokes, Snow sent me an old (clean) sock of his. I said if he did I would pin it on my corkboard, and indeed I have done so!
In addition to the Totoro sock memento, there were two very cute charms from Wen, who asked Snow to pass them on, and a pair of socks that might look familiar. You may remember that a long time ago, I got a pair just like it from my friend Drake (this is something Snow didn’t know). In fact, I loved my original socks so much, that I wore them til the fabric got quite thin. To have a replacement just in time, is perfect!
There was also a sweet letter from Snow as is usual with his mail, which is saved in my special folder along with his other letters and stories. 💕
Next is my dear friend Kitty’s package. It had so many lovely goodies! A dress for one of my bears, stickers, two pins, and naturally a lovely long letter.
The letter had a wax seal! It’s just like mine, except mine has a squirrel. I really love wax seals.
The giraffe pin is for my plushie Churro, while the squirrel one really was a totally unexpected surprise that will go in my pastel ita bag with Kitty’s own lovely pins.
I hadn’t gotten any mail of this sort in a while, and both packages really made my day. I have yet to decide who will get to wear the utterly beautiful handmade dress Kitty sent… it won’t be an easy decision, as in addition to being so pretty it is a precious thing since it was made by my very beloved friend.
That’s it for this entry… and for posts today (other than the upcoming fitness post). Hopefully tomorrow I can continue on like today and do well.
She’s a bit matted here, and has had a through combing/brushing/bath since this photo was taken… 😅
Ok, I’m done for now, there’s one more post but it deserves me taking my time with it –so off on my walk I go.
I’ve been extremely determined not to be late to bed, at least for the last 3 or so days, but this guy managed to break my… two day streak? Oh well… I’d brushed my teeth by 10:30pm and did all my chores, then played Dungeon Keeper until I was supposed to go to bed, but as I was walking past the tank there he was, eating so charmingly.
So I had to pull out my phone and record his angelic rasping:
Only then I realized that I was late, but by then, it was what it was. Some things are of deep importance. I am a naturalist, so recording snail habits is very important. Also, adorable. Just look at him.
In between commission work and my life just being… overall, well, interesting/busy, blogging has been more in the back of my mind. As such, I’ve accumulated quite a few posts of happenings and things to share. Life has been a lot of fun, in multiple ways, and other than my recent griping about pretty inconsequential stuff at the end of the day, I’ve had a lot of reasons to feel happy. 😊
One of the recent fun things I got to do is a first outing with both of my friends, Mandie and Shelly, at the same time. It was so much fun –and too short, but I had so much to do in the evening. Even as we got home, Mandie and Shelly sat with me as I began to work on dinner, and at least I spent a few more minutes with them that way.
It’s actually completely alien to me, to be cooking while talking with two girl friends. It felt really nice.
We went to Flamingo Road Nursery, where Mandie and I went recently. Since we went too late last time and Shelly had never been, and we wanted to go on a hayride, it was a natural choice while that sort of event is still going on. As soon as we got there, we went straight to the hayride area:
I decided to bring Frito with me that day. I’d never taken him out before. Here he is waiting while we got our tickets:
And here are Mandie and Shelly! We felt just like little kids sitting on the hay with our stuffies and our feet hanging off the side.
Here are lots of scarecrow photos I took during the ride:
Shelly took a photo of me and Frito too:
After that, we walked around the nursery for a bit, and I took this photo of Frito among the sunflowers:
Then we had lunch in the cafe and made plans for afterwards: Starbucks and a bookstore. I took this photo in the cafe, before leaving, of our three stuffies together:
I meant to share a huge, amazing bookstore with Mandie and Shelly, and somehow directed us somewhere else by mistake. But this place, while much smaller, was too a treasure, and a lot of fun. Mandie and Shelly got multiple books, but as I’ve been quite broke, I just picked up a $1 book from the sale rack outside:
This place had truly wonderful finds, but the prices were $20 or so for anything worthwhile… that’s a little rough.
Anyway, it was loads of fun, and we already have plans for next time. I’m looking forward to it! 🥰
There’s going to be multiple posts today because I finally feel better and I’m catching up. So if you’re subscribed to be notified per post… sorry… 😅
Yesterday I resumed my walks. Because I’ve been in some pain recently, it’s been a little harder to push past my lack of motivation. 😫 But I’m doing it. I was rewarded, too, in the evening, by the beautiful photo you see above, and by running into this little guy:
Earlier that day, Christopher took me for a short driving lesson (more of a “let’s try not to be terrified of the car” lesson). I didn’t cry this time, so that’s something. But I did hit a curb.
In the evening, after the driving thing, Christopher and I sat down together to play games. He played AoE, and I tried my hand at Patrician III, but have only gotten through the tutorials, so far.
Speaking of old games… I’ve been enjoying my walk down memory lane with Dungeon Keeper Gold so very much. I utterly love this game. This photo is from when I was playing it the other day, while working on commissions at the same time:
I’m getting right at the point where I’d always die before, so let’s see if I do any better 15+ years later… 😅 Actually that’s more like 20+, I suppose. Yikes. It’s such a good game, though.
In other things done to cheer myself up, I took care of my snaily friends (a chore, technically, but always a joy too, especially today as I found two hatchlings in the Pom nursery!) and I made name necklaces for all my new dinos. Blue and Toro get their movie/show names on their necklaces, but I gave names of my own to my new raptor, t-rex and indominus rex (two of them). I called them Frijol, Picaña, Carnitas and Cilantro. Now I have to make their little bandanas too, and they will be all set to appear in photos as I usually like to take.
Okay, got just a couple more posts to make and then I’m off on my second walk. It’s funny, sometimes I just get determined to feel better and get busy, and I just… do it. It isn’t always so easy, except when it is. 🤷♀️ I have way too much to do to let stress and such slow me down.
So uuh I guess I hadn’t done a vent in a while, I didn’t mean to worry anyone, I wasn’t expecting to get any DMs about it, I feel kinda bad, though it is so sweet that people do care… yes, the porch thing pisses me off, but funnily enough in spite of what I wrote, making the post did help me.
I decided that I’m going to trash a lot of the stuff that looks bad and not worry about the porch as much beyond keeping it clean. And I’ve been taking care of a lot of things I put off and got back on track with my eating and exercise.
Sometimes you just need a good vent, but I didn’t mean to worry anyone, I’ll cheer myself up and do what needs doing, I always do, so please no one worry, ok? 🥰 But I’m deeply grateful for the concern all the same. I’ll write back when I can.
[RANT/VENT, feel free to ignore, I just need to let it out.]
Lately I haven’t really been myself. I’ve been dealing with intensely high “highs” and on the other hand some pretty deep lows (related to work, chores, the house, and such.) Work has me overwhelmed, the house has me overwhelmed, and on some days, even though it’s true that I have to draw because I need to complete commissions, I will have higher priority things that I should be doing (such as post-citizenship paperwork) yet I keep drawing from the moment I wake up until I go to bed because it’s just easier to draw and lose myself in it, not thinking about other stuff I have to do, or about anything else, really.
Over the last few days, I’ve been thinking and thinking trying to figure out what has been bothering me by priority level. By and large, it is my “to-do” list. Sometimes it’s really stupid things. I did figure out one of them, the primary one, I suppose.
Our porch is in horrendous shape again. Even when I spent two days cleaning it a few months ago, already multiple things in it were ruined, and that was depressing in its own right, but at least I cleaned the mold off. In this godforsaken state, anything you put outside is ruined by the sun, sometimes within weeks. But it rains so much, you get mold in spite of the sun —because of the humidity.
Last time, I cut myself on a plastic flowerpot that cracked to pieces in my hand due to sun exposure. And right now, in between the dirt and grime and mold, and everything breaking down in front of my eyes, every morning when I see the porch my mood is just kind of fouled for the rest of the day. It’s incredibly depressing. It’s so depressing that I don’t want to go out to water my plans and they are dying.
And you might say well, just clean it. And every once in a while I do, which with pressure cleaning and moving of so many things, takes me two days to do. I have to do it by myself. I’m not very strong nor do I have a lot of stamina. Even though every single time it gets this bad I get so depressed that it affects so much else in my life, it just means I feel even less motivation to do something about it.
If money wasn’t so tight right now, I would just hire someone. It’s too much for me to do alone (primarily the moving of things, and all the decorative rocks have to be cleaned too) and after doing it alone twice I don’t even want to have anything to do with it. I get this simultaneous anger and hopelessness about the entire stupid thing.
It’s just a porch, I don’t know why it affects me to this degree. Maybe because seeing it through the windows it ruins the entire house for me. But I know it does affect me. It happened just like this last time too, and I feel so much worse just writing about it, because I don’t want to do it any more than I did before I wrote this, but now I realize how much it has been affecting me, even more than I suspected. I literally start neglecting the rest of the house as a direct result. It’s a cascading effect.
So yeah. I don’t know. Either I hire someone (can’t, really… I haven’t even bought my walking shoes because I’m so desperate to continue saving money) or at some point I feel so absolutely and utterly miserable that I just do it and waste two days of my life.
I don’t usually feel this much worse after writing a post. Well, at least I know what’s been eating at me. It’s not the only thing, but this one is so major compared to the others that it’s kind of hilarious.
Also, some stuff has left me in such an amount of physical pain for freaking days now, that I don’t know what to do with myself, going on my walks sucks ass, walking up and down the stairs sucks ass, it hurts even trying to work or laying down, and I’m definitely not okay enough to handle the goddamn porch. Like I’m not actually complaining (much) but fuck.
Shit! I’m so cranky. I’m sorry. I don’t usually swear so much. I have multiple happy posts in my drafts that I haven’t worked on because I’ve been so miserable and just trying to keep it to myself for days. I’ve been neglecting friends, too. I thought I was doing well enough and instead I just vomit it all over the blog.
Maybe I will clean the damn thing. Can’t very well stay like this, it’s not good for me, but I just get so angry about it. I hate it. I’m in pain. I don’t want to do it. When I think of doing it I fucking hate my life. Stupid ass porch!!