Category Archives: Personal Art

Can’t Fix It

Lately I am not doing so well. It’s rare that I do proper vent art, it feels so wasteful and selfish, especially right now. Both for economic/time reasons and because anything that puts my own feelings into focus really seems terrible and makes me want to punch myself in the face. I considered making this post private, even (I certainly have posted vents privately before and never published them) but, I don’t want to feel so alone.

I’m a very emotional person, but on the other hand, I’m very solution-driven. I guess I was raised with a mentality that if you try hard enough you can help any situation or fix any problem that someone may be having, especially if you love them, especially if they have done it for you before. I feel like it’s my responsibility as a supportive friend, or partner. I need to be able to do this, otherwise I have failed in that most important responsibility.

Because of this, many times I have tried to “fix” pain or trauma in friends and loved ones that is not possible for me to fix. I keep trying to do it and feeling awful when I can’t. It’s presumptuous of me to even assume that I could.

And yet, I cannot convince myself that me trying harder, working harder, making more money, making the house nicer, buying fancy gifts, planning fun things, cooking special meals, just, being happier harder, isn’t going to fix it. I’ve been there. I know all of this is pointless, I know how it feels to have people try to force you to feel better. It sucks. The truth is that only patience can help, just, quiet, loving patience, but I am not good at the quiet part, or the patient part.

Standing idly while someone I love suffers, just feels like wilful inaction on my part, like I’m ignoring them, or not caring; it feels like abandonment. How do you stand idly by and continue greeting the day happily if the person who matters most to you can’t?

So, every morning, I try to think of what I can do that day to make things okay as fast as possible, or at least okay for that one day. I can’t accept that I can’t do anything at all, or that I can’t make it all better now. But I think that’s causing more grief than it does help. I understand this on a logical level, but my heart can’t accept it. So I just carry on with my day with an underlying quiet desperation and my brain still trying to come up with a magic solution for things that deep inside, I know only time can fix.

I know that from experience. I’ve been there. But I still can’t help it.

๐ŸŽƒ Ooey-Gooey Carving Fun ๐ŸŽƒ [Marina]

The first slot is for me! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽƒ I still have slots left if you want one! https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43398846/

(I included my husband’s little Subrosian avatar and my Ricky Parky for company, but these YCHs include no add-ons.)

๐Ÿ„ Artwork is ยฉ 2021 by Marina Neira McKinzie. You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Only the commissioner/giveaway winner & those featured in the artwork may repost with credit and following my Terms of Use.

WordPress Banner – Fall

Another banner for my blog. This is my catch-all banner for any posts made during Fall.

(And since it comes up: this little plush character is based on a BAB tiger from some years back. So, you might recognize or have a similar one. My Ricky Parky is very special to me though. I feel there is no other plushie that’s really like him, even if you say something like “I have the same one”โ€ฆ you don’t, not exactly. Because he is so special to me, with his specific scent, specific heart, with a specific wish made on it. ๐Ÿ’• He is always drawn with my fursona and is my blog’s mascot.)

๐Ÿ„ You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Copyright is ยฉ 2021 by Marina Neira McKinzie.

Summer Days At The Lake ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿง๐Ÿฆ

My half of a trade with the lovely strawbsplayroom AKA minettefraise!

๐Ÿ„ Artwork is ยฉ 2021 by Marina Neira McKinzie. You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Only the person/s I made this trade with and/or are featured in the artwork may repost with credit and following my Terms of Use.

Sandy Squelf ๐Ÿ–๏ธ

It’s quite late for a summer icon but I’m still on a high after my fun days with Mwako so I’m using this until Fall. ๐Ÿ˜

The swimsuit my character is wearing is a real swimsuit you can purchase from Wen’s Etsy shop! https://www.etsy.com/listing/619252531

๐Ÿ„ You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Copyright is ยฉ 2021 by Marina Neira McKinzie.

๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒโ˜” Night Ride YCHs ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒโ˜”

Finally completed all slots for this YCH –starting with my own! ๐ŸŒ The others are for Crazy_Nero, SpritzStripez, Skuma, Colby-Hedgey, Onikiba and Pukopop. Thank you, friends, for commissioning me!

I’m pretty confident now that nothing else will end up overdue (and nothing is overdue anymore, plus nothing that got posted today was overdue.) This weekend I expect to complete all Reach For The Star YCHs. Thank you for your patience! ^_^

๐Ÿ„ Artwork is ยฉ 2021 by Marina Neira McKinzie. You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Only the commissioner/giveaway winner & those featured in the artwork may repost with credit and following my Terms of Use.

Rosemary And Pip

After the drawing of Rosemary I did earlier, I wanted to do another of her together with Pip. Rosemary is a fairy, while Pip is a moth-imp. At the start of their story, they are destitute, and she is raising him in spite of being little more than a child herself.

They are both very often hungry, to the point that Pip has gnawed holes in their blankets and even on Rosemary’s wings, in his sleep. For this reason, Rosemary’s wings are quite full of holes and patches and she can no longer fly with them.

๐Ÿ„ You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Copyright is ยฉ 2021 by Marina Neira McKinzie.

๐ŸŒˆ 100 Days Of Warm-Ups [067 – Rosemary] ๐ŸŒˆ

โœจ Here’s warm-up 67 of 100! โœจ This one was a very kind gift fromย CrazyNeroย to myself. He allowed me to draw whatever personal art I wanted for this warm-up, so I used the opportunity to finally design Rosemary.

Rosemary is a fairy; she belongs to one of my stories. It’s a story that has been rolling around in my head for over ten years –in fact, I named my cat Rosemary (Rosie) after giving my character this same name. Yet, I could never see Rosemary in my mind’s eye well enough to draw her. Eventually, I decided to base Rosemary the fairy on some of the aspects of my cat Rosemary, as well as making her a little younger (she’s somewhere between 12 and 14, I have not yet decided.)

Happily, with these changes, Rosemary finally came into view. Thank you Nero for buying me a time slot for myself. I don’t think this has ever happened before and it really was a joy.

๐ŸŒˆ If you would like to participate in my 100 Days Of Warm-Ups, please see this journal: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9829856/

๐Ÿ“Œ Please make sure to read it carefully and fully, and follow all the rules to get your slot/s!

๐Ÿ„ Artwork is ยฉ 2021 by Marina Neira McKinzie. You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Only the commissioner/giveaway winner & those featured in the artwork may repost with credit and following my Terms of Use.

Streamin’ Time ๐ŸŽฎ๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŒˆ

Well, not quiteโ€ฆ this isn’t a stream announcement. But I needed to make an extra overlay that wasn’t specific to any one game. Gaming has become a much bigger part of my life this year and I plan to begin streaming in earnest soon. I made this graphic for my normal overlay.

๐Ÿ„ You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Copyright is ยฉ 2021 by Marina Neira McKinzie.