Category Archives: Personal Art

๐Ÿ’ Subrosian Valentine’s Day Tea ๐Ÿ’

I’ve been trying to make Christopher lots of seasonal wallpapers and icons. This one is to match his new Valentine’s Day icon! ๐Ÿ’ž

๐Ÿ„ You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Copyright is ยฉ 2022 by Marina Neira McKinzie.

Puzzled Kitties ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿงฉ

Last of the Christmas art! This one was for my mom-in-law, Tabby, featuring all four of her cats. My mom-in-law likes puzzles and has many put together and on display on her wall, so I thought this was fitting.

๐Ÿ„ You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Copyright is ยฉ 2022 by Marina Neira McKinzie.

Visiting Tikkini ๐Ÿ

This was one of the Christmas presents for my sis-in-law, Nikki! It’s heavily referenced from an AC screenshot we took early during the pandemic when she, my husband and I would play together. It’s also been our group chat image since then. Tikki is her cat’s name, and her island was named after her, hence the flag. ๐Ÿ˜

๐Ÿ„ You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Copyright is ยฉ 2022 by Marina Neira McKinzie.

20th Arrival Day Anniversary

Now that the holidays are over, I can share the art I made for my family as Christmas presents (which I presented to them in the form of canvas prints). ๐Ÿ˜Š

This one was for my mom. It was drawn to commemorate our 20 years in the USA as of December 12th, 2021!

๐Ÿ„ You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Copyright is ยฉ 2022 by Marina Neira McKinzie.

Christmas Icon 2021 ๐ŸŽ„

Here’s my icon for the holiday season! I drew my sona with my new Grover plushie and one of my snails. They really do cross their eyestalks sometimes!

๐Ÿ„ You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Copyright is ยฉ 2022 by Marina Neira McKinzie.

Can’t Fix It

Lately I am not doing so well. It’s rare that I do proper vent art, it feels so wasteful and selfish, especially right now. Both for economic/time reasons and because anything that puts my own feelings into focus really seems terrible and makes me want to punch myself in the face. I considered making this post private, even (I certainly have posted vents privately before and never published them) but, I don’t want to feel so alone.

I’m a very emotional person, but on the other hand, I’m very solution-driven. I guess I was raised with a mentality that if you try hard enough you can help any situation or fix any problem that someone may be having, especially if you love them, especially if they have done it for you before. I feel like it’s my responsibility as a supportive friend, or partner. I need to be able to do this, otherwise I have failed in that most important responsibility.

Because of this, many times I have tried to “fix” pain or trauma in friends and loved ones that is not possible for me to fix. I keep trying to do it and feeling awful when I can’t. It’s presumptuous of me to even assume that I could.

And yet, I cannot convince myself that me trying harder, working harder, making more money, making the house nicer, buying fancy gifts, planning fun things, cooking special meals, just, being happier harder, isn’t going to fix it. I’ve been there. I know all of this is pointless, I know how it feels to have people try to force you to feel better. It sucks. The truth is that only patience can help, just, quiet, loving patience, but I am not good at the quiet part, or the patient part.

Standing idly while someone I love suffers, just feels like wilful inaction on my part, like I’m ignoring them, or not caring; it feels like abandonment. How do you stand idly by and continue greeting the day happily if the person who matters most to you can’t?

So, every morning, I try to think of what I can do that day to make things okay as fast as possible, or at least okay for that one day. I can’t accept that I can’t do anything at all, or that I can’t make it all better now. But I think that’s causing more grief than it does help. I understand this on a logical level, but my heart can’t accept it. So I just carry on with my day with an underlying quiet desperation and my brain still trying to come up with a magic solution for things that deep inside, I know only time can fix.

I know that from experience. I’ve been there. But I still can’t help it.