Tag Archives: Holidays

Happy Saturday! ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒˆโœจ

Good afternoon, everyone! This morning I found Buddy and Sarah on the tree:

I didnโ€™t sleep so great… Iโ€™m very tired and a bit down, a bit stressed. Things are absolutely better than other times this weekend, I think itโ€™s just my brain that has been getting on a certain wavelength in certain situations for a while so Iโ€™m training it out of that. I just feel a little exhausted.

We went out to lunch and then to Five Below. I was really happy I got to go. I picked up some stuff my mom needed, and a couple of shirts for myself:

I also got two set of posters, one to send Nate and one for myself. The Mandalorian one is for me. Iโ€™m going to pin them on my cork board.

They had these little Good Luck trolls. I got one of those too and stuck him on top of my left monitor:

Pretty soon Iโ€™m going to be baking empanadas for our early Christmas dinner. Then we will exchange gifts. But Iโ€™m not opening my gifts from Mwako until Christmas (or from my mom who is bringing hers on Christmas Eve.) So I get to have Christmas twice. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Saturday afternoon!

The Weekend Before Christmas ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ

Buddy and Sarah were on top of the TV today. It’s almost 1:00am now, and they must have moved for the night already –so fast!– ๐Ÿ˜ณ but I can’t find them anywhere. Sometimes it takes me a while, though. I’ll look harder tomorrow. ๐Ÿค”

I think today went pretty well. I accomplished everything I hoped to do. Our family is here now, and my attempt at being less “special” is going well… I think… although, carefully watching what I say and do makes me feel like I’m being constantly fake in a way.

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I’m trying to find a balance between being myself and behaving less eccentrically, so I can be taken more seriously by my family and not be the butt of all the jokes, which was really bugging me. So, this weekend is the time to try that.

And as I explore that balance, I did at times try to be more “me”, maybe I mentioned one of my more childish interests or was a bit self-deprecating, which is not good if I don’t want that sort of humor later used against me. But I also don’t want to hide the real me 100% of the time. That’s a terrible way to spend a long amount of time, so striking a balance is paramount.

Unfortunately, in what I think was just trying to help, Christopher would flick me (kinda hard) or just glare daggers at me (I don’t think he realized it looked like that, though) or just say something that made me awkwardly stop mid-sentence, if I happened to do these things. ๐Ÿ˜ž

He knows I’m trying to avoid them, so I’m sure it was him trying to be helpful, but I just became really paranoid and talked less and less. I’m afraid of saying or doing wrong things and start to get too self-conscious to interact. Talking as little as possible does seem to be the ultimate solution, so I may stick to that tomorrow. It’s less stressful.

There’s a lot to look forward to this weekend and next week, I’m really excited! For now, I’m going to bed. Goodnight, everyone. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Sweet Potato Snacc ๐Ÿ 

Discord freebie for Kijibwa! Eating a sweet potato.

๐Ÿ„ Artwork is ยฉ 2021 by Marina Neira McKinzie. You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Only the commissioner/giveaway winner & those featured in the artwork may repost with credit and following my Terms of Use.

G’Morn ๐ŸŒž

Good morning everyone. Just checking in. I have a lot to do today. Finish and post more art (really getting to crunch time, now) go grocery shopping, make a lot of empanadas, wrap more presents, and do all of my other everyday house chores. Hopefully make dinner as well. But I’m tired just writing this and it’s tacos so I may ask Christopher to help. ๐Ÿ™ˆ

Today Buddy was inside my computer tower. Judging by the way he was looking at Sarah, I have a nagging suspicion that she locked him in there. Maybe they are having a fight. ๐Ÿค”

Too much going on today to make a long post, but I hope everyone reading this has a great day!

Nine Days Until Christmas! ๐ŸŽ ๐ŸŽ„

Hi all! Did you have a good day? I wrapped more Christmas presents, finished two illustrations, and got a bunch of things done around the house. It was a pretty good day, all in all.

In the morning, I found Buddy and Sarah hanging from the fan together:

In reality, Christmas for us will start this weekend. As far as actual Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Iโ€™ll spend that with my mom and no one else, so she isnโ€™t exposed to others. Christopher will go to his momโ€™s for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. And this weekend, my mom and sis in law are coming to celebrate an early Christmas with us.

Iโ€™m so excited for them to open their presents, even though one of the presents for my sis and one of the ones for Christopher almost certainly wonโ€™t arrive in time. ๐Ÿ™Š But I have a bunch of others for them to open. And I have presents for them to take home to Grandma and my mom in lawโ€™s super sweet roommate too.

Today I took pictures of my new Charlie Bears hedgehog, Holly, all dressed up. I think she looks very festive!

Holly is definitely among my top five Charlie Bears and not just because sheโ€™s the latest. Sheโ€™s just so gorgeous and unique. Iโ€™m really glad I didnโ€™t buy the Bearhouse collection hedgehog and held out for her instead.

Anyway not much else to say, Iโ€™m very tired, tomorrow I plan to clean the house a little and go shopping for empanada ingredients to make a nice meal for my family. ๐Ÿฅฐ Goodnight everyone!

Time To Turn In

Not much to say tonight โ€”it was a busy day. I went grocery shopping, did chores, finished two commissions, sent Nate his new tauntaun friend, thatโ€™s about it. Iโ€™m super sleepy.

Buddy and Sarah had a chill day too, they just held hands quietly:

Tomorrow I hope to finish one big commission, wrap some presents and Zoom with my mom.

I hope everyone has a wonderful night!

More Elf Adventures ๐ŸŽ„

This morning I made my lunches for the rest of the week. Rice with furikake, boiled eggs, and meatballs with gochujang and sour cream sauce. I had the little left over as a pretty nutritious breakfast.

I have to catch up on elf photos! So far I’ve managed to post about every single day, if not always on the same day. Yesterday, Buddy and Sarah had a photo shoot:

But today was one of the best days of the month. Sarah was painting while Buddy modeled for her!

Well… we’ll call it painting… but secretly, I think Sarah was only pretending. I think she printed that picture, because I heard them making a lot of noise last night. I think they were using the printer. It’s really sneaky too because Sarah printed a drawing that was drawn with markers.

Maybe I’m wrong, but my elves are pretty sneaky… ๐Ÿค” And not very smart (Sarah forgot to take the cap off her marker…) It’s okay Sarah, I’m “special” too sometimes. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

The Tunnel Is Still Long But There Is Light At The End ๐Ÿ•ฏ๏ธ

Good morning, everyone. I definitely ended yesterday on a better note than it began, even if I’m still not 100% okay. On and off, I’m pretty depressed, and while Christmas is making it come to a head, I think it’s this entire year.

It’s everything that got canceled (conventions, Mwako and Snow and possibly even Drake visiting, the Alaskan cruise ship, the trip to Tampa) it’s Grandpa Bob passing away, it’s the LANs and parties that didn’t happen, and barely seeing friends, it’s the shock of people I thought I knew turning out to be kind of horrible, it’s barely seeing my mom, my mom in law, my sis. It’s the stress of the election, the division in the country, it’s my husband not being in speaking terms with his father (if for very good reasons.) It’s my little snail hobby being kinda spoiled by months of dealing with mites and snails dying on me, and it’s my terror of losing my mom to the virus. It’s poor Christopher working himself to exhaustion on a schedule that doesn’t allow us to be together as much as we want.

Some are small things and others are not, but bring them all together and it is a lot.

The lack of human connection is what has caused a lot of my self-esteem issues to spiral out of control this year. If I had to say… what am I craving more than anything… it is love, and acceptance, from the people closest to me.

I find myself second-guessing whether I am loved far more often than I ever did. I’ll put way too much meaning into a tone, a look, even the way a text is punctuated. I worry too much whether I’ve done something to cause this or that person to stop loving me. Maybe it’s a mild form of PTSD…? Lol. The frame of mind this puts me in is hard on me and on those around me, but I think normally, I am around family and friends more, and as a result I don’t microanalyze every interaction so much. And simple being with loved ones helps.

Now that the vaccine is being shipped around the country, maybe in a few months we’ll have something a little more resembling normalcy. I can see how this has affected my friends, too. We need it. We need a little breather. Bad things will always happen again, hard times always come, that’s fine, we can all deal with so much if we have that connection with our family and friends, but not having that makes the most trivial of problems difficult to bear.

But I feel the year is on track to end on a good, hopeful note. So I’m trying not to let negative feelings push me down. We can’t give up, not now, after all we’ve gotten through.

Imagine how good it will feel, that moment when we are at a convention again and run into a friend’s arms, or go to pick a visiting friend up at the airport. Or the next time you are all around a table again during a holiday, holding hands during a prayer, the first one you say when everyone is together again with no fear.

I’m holding out for that, and I hope you’re holding on tight to whatever you miss and hold dear, until you can have it again.

Christmas Wishes ๐ŸŽโœจ

I know, I’m sorry. I’m a hypocrite. ๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ’ง I said I wouldn’t share my list anywhere since I can’t afford to buy anyone gifts myself (other than my family, which I managed to do, even if I’ve started to wonder if they even care much about that, anyway.) But, I’ve been so, so down, and I continue to be, and I’ll take anything that can cheer me up, even if it means going against my principles (it’s okay, they were kinda flimsy anyway.)

๐ŸŽ„ My Christmas list is here: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1WV2OHLDIQH9C?ref_=wl_share

My biggest wish is the same as anyone else’s… I want a vaccine… I want to visit my mom again. I just want a little bit of normalcy again, and parties with our friends, I want that most of all.

The keyboard is nice too, though.

Dayโ€™s Over ๐Ÿ˜ž

I forgot to write about Buddy and Sarah today. I found them mid-morning but Iโ€™ve been too depressed today to blog about that. I still am, but Buddy and Sarah went through the trouble of hiding, and they even stayed in my studio, itโ€™s not their fault Iโ€™m so sad today so I donโ€™t want to ignore their effort.

With that said, I canโ€™t believe Iโ€™m in bed so early (itโ€™s not even 9pm) or so tired… usually when I start my day off on such a bad note, it generally improves. But today is ending worse than it began. I may play a little Animal Crossing but most of all I just want to fall asleep and let today be over. Maybe tomorrow can be better. I just feel so sad, so lonely and discouraged.

The one good thing that happened is that I got a lot of art done. My favorite today is Flenโ€™s commission which I sketched and inked. I canโ€™t wait to complete it.

Anyway if youโ€™re a friend reading this please donโ€™t worry too much about me, Iโ€™ll be okay, I have bad days sometimes. It was just worse because today was a really special day but in the end, well, it wasnโ€™t. It would have been a bad day if it was a normal day, but it wasnโ€™t at that.

Iโ€™ll do my best again tomorrow, Iโ€™m sure eventually Iโ€™ll cheer up again.

I hope you all have a wonderful night and that youโ€™re staying safe and enjoying your holiday season. ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŽ„โœจ